Full Mood Lunar Eclipse


Today is the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse. We cannot see it here in Michigan, but I am feeling it.

Here is a description of the Full Moon Lunar Eclipse from @moonomens via Instagram: An opportunity to close the door, to end repetitive cycles, to let go of toxic patterns, disempowering attachments, old identities, and inauthentic ways of being. It’s a time to look at ourselves in the mirror and truly see who has been hiding beneath the façade we have been keeping up for so long.

Well, shit. If that just doesn’t sum it all up.

Something that I have really been enjoying since my surgery is feeling physically whole. I am not carrying the baggage of feeling broken with hopes of surgery in the future. On the other side of my surgery, I am also finding that I have more bandwidth to really lean into feeling my true full self for the first time in my life.

I am a queer, empty-nesting-ish, quirky bird who, for the first time in her life, really fucking loves herself. I harbor no regrets regarding the path that got me here because every moment up until now has created the human I am in love with, scars and all. It is a pretty beautiful feeling.

And because dualities can simultaneously exist, I also want to share that my anxiety has been acting up today without a central focus. There are so many things it could be and I hold space for these feelings to be, with all their discomfort. There is a lot of change and healing happening and there is more to come. All is good. This too shall pass. Growing pains for the soul.

Yesterday for the first time I put jeans on. I am taking more time without my binder on to allow my body to acclimate to supporting itself. It is absolutely glorious to not wear the binder. When my body asks me to, I put it back on. I am still sore and feel much of my insides. The lifting and driving restrictions are still in place and I am being very cautious. Healing is going well.

This afternoon I compiled the before and after surgery photos of my belly into one image . I am in awe and full of gratitude.

Top is the abdominal separation and hernia the day before my surgery (Sorry about the blurry photo). Bottom is today, 5 weeks post-op.

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