Living in Michigan is not for the faint of heart. One week ago there was an inch of snow on the ground and this weekend was gloriously warm and almost 80 degrees. Many of the folks around me agreed that these late snow snaps are almost more excruciating than the depths of winter because in spring there is optimism and hope. Hope for the warmer sunny days that signal an end to the discomfort of the introspective hibernation time called winter. The cleansing I like to call it. The season where I go inside and look in all the dark corners to sweep out all the cobwebs and take stock of life. I am not going to lie, this winter was a doozy but as usual I am so thankful. It is one of the reasons I have given for loving Michigan winters – the soul cleansing. I can make it sound as lovely as I like but let’s be real, it can suck. I was trying to find a better word than “suck” but even the tactile harshness on the tongue when it is said is fitting for this season. When the 75 degree days come rolling in we flock outside like it’s the end of the battle with mother nature. We emerge with confident triumph that we made it through another season while also being a bit raw from the excavation or avoidance of the gremlins that skulked around in the cold dark of winter. If we are to be honest, here in Michigan we are clamoring to get outside in shorts and sandals as soon as it is 50 degrees out. We act like those conditions are balmy in our desperation to be done with winter.
This weekend was a beauty. My time was filled with a reminder of the beautiful humans I have in my life.
Thursday was vision boarding with my friend/life coach. Tre is a powerhouse whom I am so thankful to have on my journey. She is able to help me work through the muck of my life in a way I have not experienced before. She listens, clarifies to understand and respects how my brain works and ….. even celebrates it. She sees the powerful badass in me and is helping me let her shine. This weekend she encouraged me to be BIG. To be the BIG person I am. To express the BIG heart that I have. Speak with my BIG voice. Share my BIG thoughts and dreams. To be the BIG quake that makes change. Early on in our coaching we gave this persona the name MayaLilyLucille. The grace and wisdom of Maya Angelou, the bold humor of Lily Tomlin, and the tenacious culture busting nature of Lucille Ball. (side note: I was going into eighth grade when Lucille Ball passed and I still have the People magazine that was released in humor of her after her death – the love of Lucy is deep in my being)
Friday was a gluttonous meal at the amazing Bellflower in Ypsilanti. I am so blessed to be able to walk to this gem of a restaurant from my home. My company was my former co-worker, whom I worked closely with as my accounts partner, who has turned into an absolutely lovely friend. I am solidly old enough to be her mother but that phase neither of us. We have come to a delightful agreement that she is helping me on building my career in the tech sector and I help her navigate life and relationships. We found it interesting that even with our age difference we are oddly at similar phases in life just with different skills and experiences in our proverbial backpacks – single, starting a new career in tech, and the world is our oyster. From her I have learned and been able to practice healthy boundaries and expectations in friendships. She and I both ask for what we need. If we have plans and we are not feeling it, we say so. No excuses or shade just “I am feeling over done and need some quiet space tonight”. We encourage self care for the other even at the cost of our plans. I absolutely adore the honesty and transparency we get to share. And she loves taking naps on my couch.
Saturday was yoga at a great studio in town that overlooks the lake. I am loving it. I have been trying to go 4-5 days a week. My body loves me for it. I lost my practice when I moved and it took me a while to find the new right fit. I love the people and the location is perfect.
From yoga I went to visit my mom who is in a residential rehab working on regaining her ability to walk. We are navigating next steps on her journey and where she will be living. It is a big adjustment for her and unexpected. There has been quite a bit of processing and moving parts over the past few weeks.
Saturday evening I connected with an old doula/midwife friend at her new home. It was an evening of chatting about where we are in life, catching up on all the happenings and planning how to decorate her home. I swear I would love to nest in spaces so much, they do not even need to be mine. Creating a safe space for a human to rejuvenate and recoup is gold to my soul.
Sunday I helped a friend, who has recently gone through a breakup, with the landscaping of her new place. It was great to get my hands in some dirt and work with her to clean up a property that had not seemed to have been touched in years. The sun was warm. I sweat a bit. It was satisfying. Also my old neighbor from a decade ago was helping trim her trees. I love the nature of a small town. We all didn’t know we knew each other. His daughter was my daughters bestie when they were little. Another recently single mama stopped by to chat. We sat with a picnic of snacks on an old wood table in the back yard talking about life, being parents, being queer, being single, being middle age – it was absolutely a perfect Sunday afternoon.
Then I topped off the weekend helping my son and chatting into the evening. I absolutely love the talks I get to have with my adult son. That was one of the sadder realizations when I knew he was moving out and moving on – the late night conversations we would have when I would “tuck him in” even when he was well beyond tucking in.
Overall a lovely weekend. I love my life. I am thankful for so much. I have a beautiful river front home with the best backyard ever of the park. Speding time with so many queer, single moms rocking out their middle age lives like the bosses they are. Learning from the young folks in my life who keep me young and ever evolving. I am a lucky duck.
This week I FINALLY meet with the surgeon for my last surgery. This appointment has been rescheduled twice. Fingers crossed it actually happens on Thursday. I will be so relieved to at least be able to start making plans and a path forward. I am nervous but I am ready. To be totally honest I have had so much life happening the past few months I have not been able to think about it much. It will be good.
Next week is my cancer check up. This July will be 2.5 years cancer free. That is my official halfway mark to the preferred 5 year goal. I am optimistic all will be good. I am keeping myself busy and not borrowing trouble. As far as I am concerned, the cancers of my life are behind me.
I am going to try to start posting many times a week as a practice for myself to write and to not judge my writing. Just write. Writing calms my soul and brings me to a center that I don’t know how else to get to. I love words and I love to share my words. So, I will see you soon. 🙂
And here is a photo of my pet snails.