Less than a week until my surgery. Two days ago I got my first twinge of excited. I didn't notice until then that I have been waiting to see if the rug would be pulled out from under my feet again. I thought I was going to have the surgery to fix my abs last... Continue Reading →

I am finding joy and satisfaction where I can in this nutty cancer journey, navigating the behemoth of the medical system seeking individualized care and asking folks to think outside of the box. Before each medical appointment in the hospital system I am washed in anxiety. I have found it to be unpredictable at times... Continue Reading →

My mind has an amazing ability to cut corners to avoid the complexity of reality. I default to the easiest most logical emotion or reason, in turn avoiding the things that may sting even more than that which I think is the root of my feelings. A few days ago I had a flood of... Continue Reading →

I am not sure if I have not been able to write, not wanted to write or just being a hermit lost in the darkness of winter devoid of any feeling but malaise. I will admit, my words are a bit dramatic but they are a good blanket for the bed I have been laying... Continue Reading →

One thing I have learned on this little journey of life is that with every event that changes the course, there does come a point where that change becomes normalized. There is the first response of shock, elation, fear, joy, or one of a myriad of emotions, that over time melds into being normal like... Continue Reading →

There has been a shift over the last few weeks since my kids have both been here - in this new home - at the same time - just the three of us. Even if has been for just a short time, it was enough time. I know our flow as three in this space,... Continue Reading →

A few weeks ago, I spent 5 days in the woods with scant cell phone reception. Most of the time there was no signal but occasionally my pocket would start vibrating like crazy as texts flooded in where there was a signal. I could read the messages but could not reply with confidence that my... Continue Reading →

One day Hope started sneaking out of her enclosure. She could usually be found in the side yard. She would sit and rest after her explorations. I believe she was looking for Grace. Bunnies do not like to be alone and I have been told they mate for life. Hope and Grace were our bunnies... Continue Reading →

Tonight I was chatting on the phone with my dear friend and I asked her "How do we reignite the fire in middle age?" I didn't realize the question existed until it came out of my mouth, but it came through me at that moment and has caught my attention. The preface to this question... Continue Reading →